Venting...........airing my dirty laundry

I'm one of those people who if you have something to tell me that's not going to go over well with me, drop hints to me before you slap me between the eyes with it, because, otherwise, my reaction is not a very good one. Apparently, someone in the family doesn't know this, or just refused to acknowledge this.

I've been wondering why hubby has been calling me and being extra nice, to me. He was the bearer of the news. Called me, said what he had to say, and that was that. He couldn't even tell me this in person. And him and the other family member have been talking and planning this for a while. Never once did either one of them say a word to me. I never saw it coming. That irritates me to. The fact that they got together and worked this out irritates me to. The fact that hubby is ok with this irritates me to. The fact that hubby is willing to take responsibility for any problems irritates me to.

My oldest has decided to move out. Never said a word to me. Talked everything over with hubby. Maybe hubby told me by phone because he thought it was safer for him. The kid has no real job, no real income, no drivers license, because he'd rather play video games than study for the drivers test, and he wants to move out. He's still going to school and needs to finish his education first. I always told him, both of them, they can live in my house as long as they want while they are in school. Once you finish, then you need to find a job and be on your own. It that wrong?? I had to pay rent at home as soon as I was working. I was working at 16 and had to give part of my babysitting money to my parents. The oldest worked all summer long and his money went right into a savings account. Any money he makes at the station is put into his savings account. He gets a roof over his head, food, heat, ac, and all his own money put away.

I understand the wanting to leave. I don't want my kids living with me into their 30's, but I do want them to be capable of taking care of themselves when they move out. The oldest told hubby he wants to move out because he can't play his video games at home all the time. And he thinks he can play his video games all the time when he moves out?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!??! Who does he thing is going to support him?????? I told hubby it won't last long, hubby says he thinks so, so maybe hubby knows more than I do on this. Hubby doesn't think he will be back. Well, if the kid can make it on his own, great, but I don't think he's responsible enough. I always thought they would move out when they were financially responsible. He isn't. I thought he would move out when he was done school. Guess I was wrong. I guess the first one moving out is the hardest. We'll see how I feel after I've slept on it and it starts to sink in some, because right now, I'm pissed!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only at hubby. but at both of them, especially the oldest not being mature and man enough to face me.

No knitting tonight because of the weather. I work up this morning to about 2" of snow on my car. The closer I got to work, the less snow there was. Work had about a coating and that was it. I ended up leaving work late, again!! In a matter of minutes the sky got dark and it started snowing like crazy. The roads were covered in a matter of minutes it seemed like. Normally, it takes me 3o minutes to get home, today it took me almost an hour. There was this car in front of me and every time we would go down a hill, the car would put their brakes on, which meant I had to use my brakes. It was slippery, I could feel it. I just kept wishing that the car would stop doing that. So, as I was going up a hill I would ease off the gas, so going down I didn't have to use my brakes as much. Got packages at the post office, going to have to wait until tomorrow though, the roads were no good at all. I was even a few cars back behind a snow plow.

Hubby's called twice since I've been home. He never calls me that much. Wonder why............... Since knitting was cancelled for tonight, it's been rescheduled for Saturday morning. I just might find myself there.

Few lines

It's Wednesday, two more days and the work week is over for me. I'm glad because I've been coming home from work so tired. I was even told this morning that I looked tired. Don't know why, I slept really well last night. Usually, I hear the door open and hubby come in, not last night. Never even felt him crawl in bed, I was so out. I did get up ready to go this morning, very unusual for me since I'm not a morning person.

Since today is Wednesday I went to my favorite shop. It's half price day. Gotta love that!! Left for work early so I could shop first. Glad I did, the place was packed! Usually I go after work, but all the good stuff is gone by then. Went this morning and did really well, I thought. They had a huge selection of buttons I spied as I was waiting in line to check out. Might go back on Friday to look at them. I have a sleeveless top I'm knitting and need buttons to form the waist. About 20 or so. Since Wally world no longer carries buttons, and I really don't want to buy from a yarn shop, I'm kind of stuck for now. But, going before work meant that I got to go straight home from work. I get home and I'm feeling like I don't know what to do because it seems like it's been so long since I've just come straight home. That's sad, sad I get so busy that when I do have free time I don't know what to do with it. Sad I can't relax.

Got all my reading caught up for school last night. So proud of myself, lol! I don't schedule reading for Wednesday or Thursday nights, so don't have to worry about any of that until Friday again. My girlfriend called me last night and told me her husband is working the next 4 days and she wants company! I don't remember what town he works in, I just remember it's like a 2 1/2 hour drive each way, so when he's working more than one day he just stays there. Makes sense, I wouldn't want that long drive everyday. But I understand the loneliness during these long winter nights to. She attends the church that holds the knitting classes. Since she found out that's where I go she always asks about it. I told her more than anything it's time away from the boys. That she gets because she never gets any time away from her kids. Gonna have to plan a day away when her husbands home for a few days, get her out and away for a while. I think she'll feel better.

The pics of the flooding I posted the other day, well, the next day, Tuesday I think, the water was all gone. Behind us is a farm. The farm has a pond on it, rather close to us because the kids in the area all go swimming there in the summer. It's within walking distance. When that pond overflows with to much rain, or melting snow, or both , it flows towards us. I've seen it overflow to the point that the road I live on, has been flooded out. I'm not the only one who gets flooded out by this pond. About 10 houses or so, get it.

Hubby's cousin has moved out of the house he's renting, and moved back into the apt on top of the station. The kid who works there has gone to a boarding house for the next month. The boarding house is just across the street. Him and the oldest go there and play pool sometimes. After all this the cousins wife is still insisting on going back to India. She's only been here 2 months. She insists she can't stay here. She complains because there are no servants here for her. Well, this is a different country, I kind of thought her husband would have explained how things work here. Hubby's angry with her because she wanted me to come and clean her house and do her laundry for her. Hubby told her I have more than enough to do, I don't need anymore. He told her to do it herself. Well, glad he stood up for me. Hubby finally started packing some of his stuff today. I now have half my sofa back, lol!! He has a small carry on left and says the stuff that's left will fit in that. I told him he needs another suitcase because all that stuff isn't going to fit!

No plans for the weekend. If I go see my friend Friday then I get all of Saturday to laze around the house and do whatever I want. Hope I can and not be walking around bored because I have nothing to do, lol!!

Wter, water, everywhere...............

I should be doing my reading for class but instead I'm blogging, lol. Oh well, I'm not in the mood and I probably wouldn't have remembered anything I read anyway. Do double the reading on the weekend or next week.

We are having our mid-January thaw here. The temps today were close to 50! Would have been nice if it wasn't raining and the wind wasn't gusting close to 50! As I was driving home I actually hit a spot where the sun was trying very hard to peak through the clouds. Then I got to my house and it was pouring and cloudy and dreary.

Got up this morning, looked out the window and took pics of all the flooding in my yard.


This is the side of the yard, by the deck. Compared to other years, this really isn't to bad. We have seen the water as high as the bottom step in previous years.
Towards the back is the vegetable garden. Only one side of the garden is flooded.



This is a better pic. Even the neighbors yard is flooded like ours.

My view from the deck. All that water!!


More water.

Towards the front of the house. Same side. Only one side of the house floods.

Hubby's getting anxious to go. Still no ticket. He's been asking his cousin for 2 weeks now and he just says he'll let him know. Again, supposed to know today. His cousin's wife is going back to India. For sure. I'm hearing March. I told hubby he just might have a traveling companion on his way to India. If she leaves in March, then hubby has to be back on time. He can't be late. On time works for me, lol!

His cousin just finished remodeling the apt upstairs. And she's still not happy and still wants to go. He's still paying on the house he rented. He has it until May. There's no love lost between me and this guy, but I do feel bad for him. All that money he's put out for no reason. I believe the daughter is going back with her step-mom and the son is staying here. I think he's adjusting to being here really well. The daughter, well, she is her step-moms shadow. It's really a shame to.

Going to go veg in front of the tv and listen to the wind howl. Very high winds here today. The rest of the week is supposed to be better. Good thing, we need time to soak all this water in!

Odds and ends

I thought this was appropriate for my mood tonight. I'm feeling humble. I'm also feeling that I need to spend some quality time on my knees because I just can't do this alone. I need peace, I need calm.

There really hasn't been much of anything going on this week. Work is getting longer and longer and I'm getting disgusted. Been having such a hard time sometimes sleeping at night. I go to bed at my usual time and sleep for about 2 maybe 3 hours, then I'm awake until like 5 or 6 am. I can feel myself trying to relax and sleep around that time, but I can't always relax enough to sleep. Then the alarm goes off at 8 am and it's time to get up. Last night was the third night this week and I'm tired and miserable because of it. I've tried taking something to help me sleep, but it doesn't seem to work.

We had gone over a friends house for dinner Tuesday night, which was a lot of fun. We got to talking about Internet connections and she was telling me that they only have so many bytes they can use per day for their Internet. This becomes a problem because there's usually 3 of them going online. We have a wireless connection and unlimited access, so I told her to bring her laptop over and they can download movies and whatnot. Wednesday night I get a call from her that they are coming over. Ok, fine. Bible study was cancelled because the driveways were to icy. They get here and she tells me they were sitting in my driveway that morning trying to download stuff, but the lost their charge on the laptop and couldn't finish, lol. I asked her why she didn't ring the door bell and come inside and plug the laptop in and finish downloading. She said they didn't want to interrupt me while I was getting ready for work. Wouldn't have bothered me none. So I leave to go to work this morning and I see this blue van sitting in my driveway in front of my car. I'm wondering who's sitting out there. When I look at the van the driver looks at me and waves. Then I realized it was them! Sitting out there downloading again, lol! I asked her why they didn't come inside. She said they would only be a few minutes. I told her if they need a charge to go inside and plug it in, every one's sleeping. Not going to disturb anyone. Maybe give them a good scare, that's all. That gave me a good laugh this morning!

It's been mild here and sunny. I've been tying to get outside in the sunshine as much as I can. The lady I take care of always has her front door closed, the blinds all closed, and then turns the lights on! Makes me crazy!!!!! Nothing I like better than opening the blinds during the day and letting the sunlight in. Makes me feel better. Later in the week though it's supposed to get back into the 20's again. I want to soak up as much sunshine as I possibly can.

I believe tomorrow is the last day hubby's doing his shopping. I took all the price tags off everything tonight and sorted his new clothes from the clothes he bought for other people. He told me not to pack everything because when he gets there, this family opens his suitcases and everyone just starts grabbing what they want. He gets confused as to what he brought for who, so he has to put every one's names on everything. That's his job. He's picking up a suitcase he's borrowing from a cousin while we're out tomorrow. He's getting all ready to leave and still doesn't have a ticket yet. Was supposed to get it earlier in the week. Now he's getting miserable because he won't be able to go to the wedding he said he was going to. The way I see it, he never should have made plans to go without knowing when he was leaving. Now he's saying he has to be there by Feb 6 because that's when his sister has her final interview, and he has to drive her there. Again , don't make plans unless you know when you're leaving. It's not like we live a few hours away, we're talking half way around the world here. Sometimes I seriously wonder just what's between that man's ears.

I have knitting to work on. Haven't touched it hardly at all this week. I think the most work I got done on it was last night at knitting! Maybe that will take my mind off things and I can relax enough to sleep tonight.

Shopping, shopping and more shopping..........

Can you tell the snow's coming back?? We are getting that wintry mix. Right now it's snowing, quite hard. Later into the night it's supposed to turn to rain and freezing rain. Then early in the morning back to snow. If the temps drop like predicted, that rain will become ice. Snow on top of ice. Wonderful. I've already kissed the ground butt first this season. How? Walking on snow with ice under it while clearing the car off. In my mind I'm ready for Spring, but the calender says I have a few more months before that happens :)



Yesterday was a really nice day. It was mild enough to just wear a sweatshirt outside. So we did. Lots of sun to. First thing we did was take the car to get it washed. It's actually shiny now, even the hubcaps. Of course, that's why it's messing today and tomorrow. And the end of the week. But, seems everyone had the same thought because the car wash was was packed, even the self-service. I'm lazy I use the automatic one. And I had a $5 off coupon that expires at the end of the month. Have a few more in my purse to use, so maybe I'll be able to get the car through 2 more times. See what the weather decides to do.

So yesterday was the big shopping day. We left around noon and got home after 6pm. The youngest got his new computer that he wanted for his birthday. He had to pay half though. We got most of the stuff on hubby's list taken care of yesterday. I've been slowly buying stuff and setting is aside to. I usually take care of the women and he does the men, lol. He never buys for the women. He's borrowed one suitcase from his cousin. That suitcase came with a special "gift." It came with a mouse. The suitcase has been in my trunk for about a week. Yesterday the boys went out to get the suitcase out and found some of the shopping bags, the plastic container that holds the bungee cords in, all holes eaten in them. I know the mouse came from the suitcase because I'm in my trunk on a regular basis. I never put any shopping bags in my back seat or front seat unless I'm going right home.

So the boys tell me about the mouse. I tell them to empty the trunk out and see if they can find it. They found it all right!! Under the spare tire, squished. Good, that's what it gets for trying to make a home in my trunk!! I'm just glad I found it before the warmer temps got here. That smell would have made me crazy! Even hubby said the mouse probably came from his cousins suitcase, lol.

Now my sofa in the living room is full of hubby's bags. All of them. As we brought them in last night whatever was his just went right to the sofa. We did a little food shopping while we were out to. Of course, he took the kid he works with along and his cousins son. They were hungry so we went to dominos for pizza. Hubby said he was told their pizza is really good now. I do like the sauce, but the seasoning they put around the outside of the crust, not crazy about. I thought it was to salty, but I use very little salt so I taste it right away. The youngest also commented about the crust being to salty, so I know it wasn't just me. It was ok, but I like my regular place better.


We went to church this morning, even hubby. For once it wasn't so hot in there I was ready to melt. Hubby kept his jacket on because he said he was cold, lol. Next weekend is the last weekend we have and then he's off to India. I told him this morning was the last time he would be in church before he left. I wonder if I can get him to to next week to. Hmm, have to give it a try. He wants to go to see his other cousin who lives about an hour away next weekend. I don't want to go. I told him I would rather spend Saturday helping him pack and getting the last minute things and seeing his cousin, who lives closer, for a suitcase. By the time we do all that, the day will be done and it will be time for him to go to work anyway. He said something about maybe going during the week. For me to go that's out. I have to give 2 weeks notice for time off. He thought maybe he could get someone to take him. The other option was to go when I get home from work, but that would make a really late night and we could only stay for a few hours anyway. I don't like visiting people who live far away during the week, that's my time to do what needs to be done and get ready for the next work day. I find it very stressful. Friday is the only weekday that I'm not stressed. I'm relaxed because there's no rush to hurry up and get things done and off to bed to start the next day. That extra hour of sleep means a lot to me, lol!

The beginning of January I started reading the Bible every day. I'm reading it chronologically. I've already finished the book of Job in my reading though. I find Job a very hard book to understand without constantly referring back to something or consulting a commentary. I remember when I was a teenager reading that book and couldn't wait to get through it and on to the next.

We went to Peebles because hubby wanted some nice jeans. I had seen a coat I really liked last week which was half price. This week it's half price and an additional 20% off. I tried it on and really liked it, but it's not what I really had in mind. I do have a good coat I wear to church and stuff. I saw this jacket that was quilted on the outside and fur lined on the inside. Not real bulky either like the other one. This one was also half price plus the 20% off. And it's reversible and waterproof. That's what I came home with. I have a leather coat which I wear when it's really cold outside. The other coat I wear when it's not so frigid, but the air seems to go right through it. This coat is warm, warmer than the other one I've been wearing. It's like the jacket had my name on it. My size and all. And the only one there. I get to try it out tomorrow for work. By the end of the night it was cold so I had it on for a little while once the sun went down.

Well, dinner's ready so I'm off to eat.

TGIF

Went to see hubby after all my errands were done after work. Bad move on my part. I've been grumpy all day and hubby just made it worse. He actually gave me a headache! Tomorrow he wants to shop for his trip, right now staying home and doing nothing sounds good to me. I made the mistake of asking him why he's borrowing suitcases and shopping if he doesn't know when he's leaving yet. His sister still hasn't heard anything. Well, he slips and tells me he's working on trying to leave on the 27 or 28 of this month and looking to come back around March 10. What happened to 30 days?? What happens if his sister can't leave until the end of March or April?? He insists it won't work that way. How would he know? My impression was he wasn't leaving until she knew when she was going. What a bunch of bs I've been fed. With his track record, he'll be gone another 2-3 months, always seems to work that way. He's leaving around that time because he has to be at a wedding. Whatever. I don't like fighting with him before he leaves, but a little respect here would work wonders.

Everyone has off on Monday, except me. Chose to work because I didn't want to be around the boys and now I don't want to be around hubby either. Work will be the best place for me if my mood doesn't change and we have a rough weekend. Don't want to be alone, but don't want to be around him either, lol. Maybe I need the 2-3 month vacation. Alone.

Winter blues

As I was driving to work this morning I found myself thinking I was wishing it was like March or April already. I'm wishing for warmer temps and to see the flowers and trees and things start to come to life. I don't know why, I don't like heat and humidity, and it's only January, but I'm longing for some sunshine. Maybe that's the problem, to many cloudy days and not enough sunny ones. The woman I work for has all her blinds closed and doesn't let any light or sun in at all. Makes me feel like I'm working in a cave.

Hubby's already doing his shopping and packing for India. He doesn't even have a ticket yet! Think the mans ready to go or what?? He plans to spend Saturday shopping for himself and working on the list the relatives over there have started to give him. I'm already dreading his leaving.

A friend of mine posted a pic of themselves from a while ago. It seems to have brought up a lot of old memories, and I'm finding myself wondering "why". Things might have been so different. Been struggling with a lot of that lately. Knitting starts up again next week and I'm glad. Maybe I just need some female socialization. Maybe I just need to laugh and have fun and forget. Maybe I need a trip back to NJ.

Was at the station after work today. Hubby's cousin is remodeling the apt upstairs, new kitchen, new bathroom, new carpeting. His wife is still refusing to stay in the house they rented so I guess, since she'll stay in the upstairs apt, that's where they are going to live. When she found out hubby's leaving soon, she told hubby to take all her stuff back to India with him. He told her no, her life is here now with her husband.

Did the white elephant last night after Bible study. It was a lot of fun. I've never been to one. Even the boys enjoyed it and the they didn't want to go either. I really wasn't in the mood, had my mind other places, places it really shouldn't have been, but went anyway. The longer I sat there and tried to concentrate, the more relaxed I became. I just felt like I was where I was supposed to be. By the end of the night, I was having fun and forgetting everything that was on my mind when I walked in there.

The way the white elephant works is anyone who wants to participate brings in a wrapped gift. The catch is, it's something you don't want anymore, which could be anything. The more obscure the objects the better. Everyone picks a number. The person with number one gets to choose a gift and unwrap it in the "hot seat" in front of everyone. That person goes and sits down. Everyone after that also has to pick and unwrap in front of everyone, except if they don't like what they got they can choose something that anyone else has. When everyone has had their turn then the person who was number one gets their choice of anything anyone else has. Let me see if I remember what all was brought; a personal fan, "gas relief," knitted table cover, some kind of twirly thing that goes outside, an outside lamp, box of hangers, old transistor radios, pair of unmatched windshield wipers, 3 totally empty boxes, nature cassette tapes, coffee can of pens and markers, office supplies, purse, baby doll, book, safety goggles, and I think that's about it. My oldest got to go first. He got the package that had 3 empty boxes in it. I got a kids toy watch, traded it for a tea light and dish. The youngest got a baby chick that peeps when you touch the bottom, he traded with me for the tea light. The woman who got the coffee can with pens and markers traded with me for the baby chick. One of the elders traded with my oldest for the empty boxes. The elder got the twirly thing. Someone else got a box of hangers and traded with the oldest for the twirly thing. His wife had a fit because that was the gift they brought, LOL!! His wife got the "gas relief." Odd thing was, she kept it, lol. At the end the oldest traded his box of hangers for the baby chick. He thought the cat would like it. She does, she bats it around.
When it's rolling it peeps! All in all it was a lot of fun. By the time we got home it was almost 9pm. The elder did draw our attention to the clock about 8pm and said next week he didn't want to see anyone yawning during Bible study next week, because no one's yawning now, lol!